the spinning wheel

last i wrote i was supposed to be getting on my sewing horse and flying. well it ended up that the week brought with it a lyme attack on my husband and daughter, of which we were hoping the antibiotics were finally working their devious magic. and a bizarre awareness alighted upon me: i hadn’t ever worked my sewing machine before.

thusly i bravely started down two divergent paths at the same time: reresearching lyme and caring for their symptoms while learning how to use my forty year old sewing machine. attempting this subatomic particle-like maneuver, i discovered that in my earlier efforts not to waste food and can, can, can, i had ignored my files which were now overflowing and the laundry was towering towards the ceiling, threateningly. forget actually taking care of the dogs, cat, goat, chickens, oh and yes did i mention that i have two kids and a husband? occasionally they might require some attention as well. so it is that over a week has passed an i have missed my self-imposed deadline for sewing my bag and thus for writing. i hang my head in shame.

so i have been frustrated this week. i didn’t finish the project i wanted and feel the need for support for this effort in living righteously. i joke not only because i find religion hokey, but because despite that, i find respecting my environment has become my religion, it informs my art. it gives me form and function, something to laugh and live about.

often it seems, especially with so many serious issues out there such as insane people fighting not to have health care reform ( i digress- having been convinced, now that we have a black president, that all things the government touches is bad and destined to control our lives. but seriously folks, doesn’t your health insurance carriers decide what they will cover or not now? i know, we have the lyme to put the bill in our hands. our bills are sky high, and empire, seemingly randomly pays some but not others. ) but i digress some more...

so there are real other issues out there. many seeming even more pressing than living the way we should. our culture has gone so far astray that trying to live a sustainable lifestyle, one without poisons, plastics and a consuming passion- seems like a pipe dream. seems impossible. you have to live outside the loop, in a bubble, isolated from all. it makes trying to live, and yes i am finally going to say it, living the right way, feel like naval gazing.

so i finally i do it, i ask for support. anyone out there in the same boat? anyone trying and getting frustrated? or just trying and would like company? maybe right now it is just naval gazing. but the truth is that it is the culture of the mass consuming society is what got us into so many problems. if we were able to live sustainably by demanding accountability from the manufacturers to create goods that are not toxic and are reusable made by people with fair wages, how much more peace would there be in to the world? how much cleaner would our air and water be? if we were not oil dependent, how many wars would be diverted? if the health of the people and the planet were held in higher esteem than that of profits, wouldn’t we have more time to focus on being able to get along together?

taking responsibility for the way we live is really taking the bull by the horns. you get tossed about and bruised. and there is a lot of bull out there, let me tell you. i tell myself, it is the only way.