today i feel like i am spitting into the wind. my daughter came home from shopping for camp and school with untold number of plastic bags, a plastic container of leftover salad, a plastic cup of leftover mocha. i enjoyed seeing that at least the cup was #1 pet and recyclable, but cups are not accepted in our recycling center anyway. i saved the bags, washed out the containers and put them in the recycling bin, even though i am not sure they are recyclable and tried to reclaim the power i felt when i was conversing with my dad the day before:

"there is a new technology that allows you to put all your garbage into one machine and everything but the plastic is burned or somehow spit out and plastic building materials can be manufactured."

"yes, but the problem is that these plastics are degraded, the polymers shortened and their life span ends with the construction materials. once the building is no longer used, then the plastic has to go into the landfill. and plastic is just so evil; it shouldn't be used at all."

talking to my father always brings out the fighter in me. in truth it is he that has brought me to this point. i continue knowing that my argument isn't all that strong. there is a point to being able to make something concrete with the garbage.

"look, i know that people aren't going to stop using plastic. i don't even know how i am going to. i just know that it is wrong and the production of it is poisonous, the use of it is generally fleeting, the lifespan in a landfill nearly immortal, and its slow demise and disintegration poisonous as well. just look at what is happening to the oceans. all the garbage that has been and is being dumped and the plastic degrades and attracts oil based poisons and becomes food sized poison pellets floating around the ocean."http://www.good.is/post/transparency-the-great-pacific-garbage-patch/

i take a breath and look at my father's face, "that becomes food for the fish, that eat each other and eventually become food for us. our immune systems will just eventually break down."

he nods in agreement, eyes slightly glazing over. my mother comes into the room, "so you are advocating boycotting plastic?"

" i don't expect people to stop using plastic anytime soon. it is too much a part of the system we live in. but buying plastic is something that i do that i know is wrong. it is something i can grasp and battle with. not buying plastic is the right thing to and it makes me feel strong to make a stand. "

i felt the power of one in me. i am doing this. i am influencing my family. i am following my passion. i am doing the right thing. then today came, and the long string of polymers that hold us together through the legacy of the disposable society feels strangling and inglorious. i tried going to the supermarket to buy dinner sans plastic. i realized i needed to start making my own cheese and butchering my own meat. (i do buy meat that is grass fed and free ranged, but it is packaged in plastic!) now i have to change my source. am i ready for this? man, this really takes conviction. next, i need some cheese making materials.